THE BUSINESS DIARIES | Valentina, The Stars Inside

‘For me, this is the most personal and rewarding pursuit of beauty and happiness, and the answer to questions I didn't even know I was asking. It means doing more of what I love, and it means using all my different skills towards a happy purpose. I look back and I know – this is who I choose to be.’

The Business Diaries series took a hiatus over the festive period but I’m back on the blog today and wow… what an interviewing I’m starting 2022 with! Valentina is the Founder of The Stars Inside, a bespoke planning and design studio, specialising in soulful elopements and intimate destination weddings all over the world.

She loves working closely with her couples, weaving their stories, and values into their celebrations. Her work is all about making time and space for creating deeper connections with loved ones through heartfelt, elevated, welcoming wedding experiences.

Valentina’s commitment to what she does is clear to see throughout our chat, and the interview is filled with honesty, integrity and passion. As well as everything between of course! After originally beginning her career as an Astrophysicist (I hope I’m not the only one who had to google this), Valentina founded The Stars Inside in 2017 and now, nearly five years later, plans and styles weddings across the globe. And most importantly,  she loves doing it.

So, without further ado. I bring you the next instalment of The Business Diaries…

Can you tell us a bit more about what you do, your background, and how long  you’ve been running your business for?

I have a somewhat unusual background, and I love using everything I've learned over the years to serve my couples and colleagues in the wedding industry now. I actually started my professional life as an astrophysicist, then trained to be a circus performer (a trapeze artist, to be precise!), and then was hired by one of the largest American investment banks as a stocks trader. Now, there is nowhere I would rather be! I founded The Stars Inside in 2017 because, for me, this is the most personal and rewarding pursuit of beauty and happiness, and the answer to questions I didn't even know I was asking. Working in this industry means doing more of what I love, and it means using all my different skills towards a happy purpose. I look back and I know – this is who I choose to be. I didn't start a wedding planning business because my particular combination of analytical, problem-solving, and creative skills (and the fact that I love weddings!) makes this the perfect career for me – that’s HOW I am a wedding planner. The why is the stories, the love, and the precious moments when families begin and grow. My why is that this is where I can give the most to others, while being most true to myself. Now, four and bit years later, I’m so proud to plan and style weddings all over the world - with a specialty in heartfelt, intimate celebrations and destination weddings.

Was this something you’d always intended on doing? How was your business born?

I’ve ALWAYS loved love - I’m guaranteed to be the soppiest person in any room, at any time! I’ve always loved weddings, but I hadn’t really ever imagined myself working in the events industry to be honest! As a bride-to-be, I had the joy of working with a wedding planner, and it was hand-on-heart the best decision we made for our wedding. What she did for us meant so much - and I know for certain that she's the reason our celebrations turned out to be as full of meaning, beauty, and happiness as they did. We were going through a difficult time back then, personally and professionally, and when our wedding venue suddenly closed due to insolvency, we found ourselves having to start all over again with planning, and it was only thanks to her that we were able to turn all those memories into something so positive. Experiencing being on the client side of this made me realise that I was falling in love with the job she was doing for us, and with all the passionate, creative, hardworking people I was meeting in the wedding industry. It made me want to be that person for other couples going through their own wedding planning journey. Once I realised that, I took her advice and signed up to train with the UK Alliance of Wedding Planners, and then dove into this business and industry with both feet when I launched in September 2017 - and haven't ever looked back!

What is one thing you know now that you would have told yourself when you first launched your business?

My biggest message I wish I could have passed on to past Val is that it’s ok to be you – and in fact, it’s essential to be as authentic and real as possible when being a business owner. It’s so easy to worry about being a people-pleaser, about fitting in, and about being mainstream enough – but the truth is that the best client relationships, and the most rewarding work, comes when you connect with people on a very real level. It wasn’t really until I leaned into my niche and started speaking with my own voice, that I discovered who my people were – both in terms of clients and peers in the wedding industry.

What has been one of the biggest challenges you’ve faced as a business owner, and how have you overcome it?

I would say my biggest challenge has been believing in myself and my future as a business owner. To this day, I struggle with self-confidence all the time – I continually feel like I’m not good enough, that I don’t have what it takes, and that people will “see through” me. But the truth is, thoughts and worries like that are a sign of passion: I care about this business, this job, and my clients with all my heart, and it’s my work ethic of perfectionism that always threatens me with these fears of letting people down. It can be very tiring and disheartening to second-guess oneself so much – but I try to see it as motivation to keep showing up, keep finding strength, and keep doing my best.

Being self-employed can be a struggle! How do you stay motivated? Do you have any productivity tips?

I don’t know whether I would call it a productivity tip – but I would say I use two things to stay motivated: excitement, and lists! Every Sunday evening I look ahead at the week’s meetings and to-dos, and make notes in my planner (shout out to the team that makes the gorgeous LifeStyled Planners that I use literally every year!), with goals for each day. In addition to pen-and-paper lists, I also use online productivity tools like Asana and Aisle Planner to keep track of the workflow for each of my clients’ weddings. I love spreadsheets, lists, and folders, so for me productivity means having a headspace and workspace (both physical and digital) that feels organised. But on the other hand, I also try to leave some room for spontaneity – I try not to time-block too much, so that if I get sudden inspiration for something (like some wording for my website, a blog post, s podcast episode, a client’s moodboard, and so on), I can spend some time on that. I find I’m most productive when I’m excited about what I’m working on, so I try not to force things: there’s no point deciding that Tuesdays are my blogging day, if then that day I don’t feel in the right headspace for writing!

Is there anyone (within the industry, celebrity, friend or family member) who inspires you and what you do for a living?

I hugely respect and admire all the incredible wedding planner and wedding supplier colleagues I’ve had the joy of meeting since starting this business, and they inspire me every day to keep championing what we all do. There are so many incredibly hard-working and wildly talented men and women in this industry, moving mountains from their spare bedrooms, going above and beyond for the couples that place their trust in them – and my biggest inspiration is honouring that trust.

I have a husband I adore that has supported me all through the trists and turns of my career, and making him proud is one of my biggest inspirations.

And finally, I would say I’m inspired by all my interests! I love letting them colour my work - from literature, to science, to art and architecture, to fashion and design, to travel and nature, to movies and video games - I'm a very visual person, so I feel most inspired when experiencing new things or new places!

Name me your go-to podcast, audio book or song that you listen to while working?

I love listening to podcasts and audiobooks while I’m on the move, but when I’m working at my desk I actually need calming, focusing music without lyrics – generally I pop Spotify on with either some atmospheric nature sounds (I love the sound of rain!), instrumental covers, soundtracks of my favourite movies and video games, or some relaxed chill-hop, depending on my mood.

 I’m all about supporting small businesses. How can your followers / customers / clients support your biz?

What a lovely question, thank you for asking! For any kind humans wanting to support my business, every little bit is welcome and immensely appreciated! In addition to offering wedding planning support for celebrations all over the world, I also have a podcast I love hosting and an Instagram account where I journal about my adventures with my weddings and my business journey – I would love to connect with you!

What’s one thing you dislike about being a business owner?

Some days, it can be heavy to think about the pressure – the fact that the whole business is on my shoulders, every marketing decision, every accounting detail, every branding choice, every client’s wedding, every pound spent, every weekend taken away from my family – and I do wonder sometimes about how it would feel to have a partner or a team. It can be a bit isolating and scary to run a business alone like this, but on the other hand it’s also immensely rewarding – and I’m really proud of the things I learn and the progress I make each year, no matter how big or small.

What’s one thing you love about being a business owner?

I love having the freedom to do the work I love – but I think I would say that my favourite thing about this role is building relationships, both with couples and with wedding professionals. Being a small business owner means being the heart, soul, and face of the brand – which means every single connection I make is made through me. There’s no HR department, marketing department, or PR team: it’s me, partnering with awesome artisans, making beautiful things happen for happy humans in love.

I really love getting to know fellow wedding suppliers – I’m consistently absolutely blown away by their talent, creativity, and work ethic. I’m always really fascinated to hear about different people’s journeys, how they got here, what they love about their job, and whether there’s any way I can help. I feel that understanding this means I can better serve my suppliers, which in turn means we can all work together in harmony for our couples – as a wedding planner I have the very privileged position of listening to the needs of both sides of the industry (the service providers, and the service receivers), which means that, hopefully, I can bring them together in an educated, respectful way. With great power comes great responsibility... *giggles*

I become friends with the people I work with because I love my job, and because they are so much more than "clients" or "suppliers" to me. I believe that connection and trust foster all the best things in the world.

What is a common myth about your business / field of expertise?

I think there are two primary myths that I come across, and that aren’t as true as people may imagine them to be! The first is that wedding planners are only for celebrities or people with huge, ostentatious wedding budgets. In truth, wedding planners are for anyone who wants to invest in their time and who wants to plan this celebration with a guiding, expert hand by their side. There are planners for every style, every budget, and every approach – and I highly recommend couples take their time to find the planner best aligned with them. It’s a tight-knit, very special relationship, and at the heart of it is has nothing to with pretentious weddings or earpieces a la Jennifer Lopez (unless you want it to be!). It’s about partnership, trust, and expertise.

The other myth is that our role is 100% glamorous and fun – that being a party planner means attending parties, tasting cake, and making things pretty. There is a joyous amount of that, which I do love, but the work we do goes way beyond that. Throughout a typical client journey I will be a wedding planner, a fashion stylist, a set designer, a travel consultant, a budgeting connoisseur, a problem solver, a family dilemma soother, a project manager, a writer, a negotiator, a researcher, a sketcher, a taster, an expert networker, a translator, a lawyer, and so much more  – not to mention the 20 hour days on our feet on a wedding day lifting tables and flower urns, the miles we travel all over the country and the world away from our families, the thousands of emails tactfully written at all hours of the day, and those times late at night when we’re the only ones there to listen to a couple’s fears. I wouldn’t change my job for the world, and I believe things worth having don’t come easy – there is nowhere I would rather be, but not because this is effortless: because it’s meaningful.

If your business could be remembered for one thing, what would it be?

I believe in creating with, rather than creating for: being a couple’s planner is a partnership, and I always afford it the attention it deserves. I support them every step of the way, and the more tight-knit the relationship becomes, the more wholehearted and comprehensive my support can be – which means a lot to me. My brand is all about creating beauty with meaning, instilling a sense of belonging, and curating heartfelt and mindful experiences. I would say my specialty now is creating magical atmospheres for intimate celebrations – which I love! On average, my weddings have quite small guest lists (or none, in the case of elopements!), but I would say it's not really about the number itself. For me, it's about connecting with couples who want to create welcoming, elevated experiences where they can spend quality time with their loved ones. It's about caring about every detail, and creating opportunities for real connections and joyful togetherness - whether it's 2 people or 200.

If my business could be remembered for one thing, I would love it to revolve around making small weddings, extraordinary.

What’s something your followers / customers / clients wouldn’t know about you?

I don’t often discuss this online, but I’m actual an avid gamer! I’ve been playing fantasy videogames since I was 4 years old (!) and if I need to turn off my brain for a little while to relax, there is nothing I love more than to sit at my computer playing online with my hubby. We get very geeky about it, and we’re not even sorry :D

What is one piece of advice you’d give to someone starting their own business?

Your why is your superpower: don’t compare yourself to others because even if you have the same job in the same industry, nobody is you or has your reasons for doing what you do. People you look up to, have people they look up to. Every single one of us business owners is on a journey, and it’s hard. But you got this.  

What do you have in store for your business? Is there anything exciting around the corner?

With weddings and travel returning, 2022 and 2023 are looking busy and full of hope! For me, the next few years will be all about strengthening the brand, refining my business so I can take fewer, more intentional weddings per year (and have more time with my family!), exploring some new avenues, and delivering kickass weddings and elopements for those amazing couples that I have the honour of working with.

Describe being a business owner in three words.

Preconception-breaking, self-unleashing, confidence-building.